Some people on this planet are meant to die.

Some people still find it surprising how "cruel" and "heartless" I can be.
Of how I can shrug accidents and deaths with a simple "Oh well" or "Had it coming".

It is because humanity needs examples.

There are celebrities. Celebrities who people adore and whose lives people want to live. And replicate.
Awful lot of these celebrities have alcohol and/or drug/etc. problems. These also being things that people want try. Because nothing your beloved celeb does can be wrong, right?

Every time when a celeb dies of alcohol poisoning or overdoses, something inside me screams "Yes!".
That is because people need to see where lives like their can lead into, and what is the likely end for them.
THIS is why I act as I do.

Finncon-Animecon 2011

What to say of it... Propably the third best weekend of my life. Met alot of friends, old and new, had fun, and sweat'd like a whore in a church.

 There were a couple of let-downs during hte weekend also, but msot of them are highly personal matters which I intend to keep to myself.

I didn't record vlogs this time, since my vlogs didn't get that much attention, but when I get some privacy, I'll do a picture collaque to which I intend to ramble over about the weekend. So look into that later.

Valve, you slimy sonofabitch...

Guess who downloaded Team Fortress 2 from Steam(as it is f2p nowadays).
Guess who is completely hooked.

(It's a fucking great game)

RAGE INCOMING

Do you know what fucks me up totally?
Do you?

THAT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON WHO WALKS PAST WHILE I PLAY WITCHER 2 COMMENTS SOMETHING LIKE "Lol, two frames per second, stop playing, not worth it get a better computer lol" IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE DO NOT PLAY GAMES BECAUSE THEY LOOK GOOD, I PLAY GAMES BECAUSE I ENJOY THE STORY. THAT IS WHY I DO NOT ENJOY GAMES LIKE FINAL FANTASY OR KINGDOM HEARTS BECAUSE OF THE EXCESSIVE GRINDING THAT IS REQUIRED. GODDAMN ELITISTS GO AND DROWN IN YOUR OWN SHIT.

*phew*

I swear, to gods that if a SINGLE person does that again, I'm going to lacerate him/her beyond recognition and feed to his/her parents.

Yes, I might be losing my mind, who knows?

Sometimes I really wish I was born a girl. No, not because males are idiots, although that too, but because most (86,4%) of my friends are female. I can't be an equal part of the grup with them, I can't speak with them like they speak with eachother, not because I wouldn't understand them, far from it, it's because I am male. I can't hang out together with them like girls hang out together, because people instantly think that we would be dating or that I am dating someone of the group. This really pisses me off, and sometimes I truly do think of walking out of that group just because I know that if I did, both parties would fare better, and the discrimination and gossiping would end.

I hate you, modern world. I hate gender discrimination, I hate th norms between genders and I hate norms in male-female friendships. I hate people who make conclusions without any ase to their thoughts and I HATE THE FACT THAT I CAN NEVER BE CONSIDERED AN EQUAL PART OF THE GROUP.

A hundred wishes

Inspired by my idol, Adam Savage, I decided to do a list of one hundred things that I wish for.
Here goes.

1. I want to fix everything between me and my (ex?) girlfriend
2. I want a proper workshop that I have access to whenever I want
3. I'd really love to be able to fly
4. Or teleport!
5. I want to learn how to fence with a longsword(properely)
6. I want a Metal Gear
7. I want a functional Blade Runner gun
8. I want to learn how to fly a helicopter
9. I want to work in the movie industy
10. I want an AI that I can talk with (IE. Jarvis, GlaDOS, etc.)
11. I want a power armor
12. I want to have a room full of occultic/magical artifacts
13. I want an endless supply of Mountain Dew
14. I want to build a functional hidden blade from Assassin's Creed
15. I want to learn how to properely tool leather
16. I want a complete WWII US Paratrooper uniform
17. I want a Luger Parabellum P08 (genuine)
18. I want to meet Harrison Ford
19. I'd want to speak of ethics with Hitler
20. I want the tumbler from Batman Begins or The Dark Knight
21. I want a Zündapp motorcycle(with a sidecar)
22. I want a DeLorean time machine
23. If I had a DeLorean Time Machine, I'd want to meet the following persons:
-Leonardo Da Vinci
-Nikola Tesla
-Charles Darwin
-Abraham Lincoln
-Stan Winston
24. I want to visit the Antarctica.
25. I want to circumnavigate the globe on a motorcycle(preferably with someone accompanying me)
26. I want to go and show the creators of the TV series "Deadliest Warrior" how it's supposed to be done
27. I want to keep a lecture about espiongage during the Cold War
28. I want to have a polar bear
29. I want to run a formidable prop studio
30. I want to go to Australia one day
31. I want a Portal Gun
32. I want to have dinner with Anthony Bourdain
33. I want to go to Chernobyl
34. I want a Foxhound coat
35. I want a Pandora PC
36. I want to visit Florence
37. I want to be on an episode of MythBusters
38. I want to build a scale model of a sail-powered battleship with functional cannons
39. I want to re-enact naval battles with the battleship (with other people controlling the other battleships)
40. I want to have a library with one of those rolling ladders
41. I want a revolver
42. I want to make a parachute jump
43. I want the backpack Sam Fisher has in Splinter Cell: Conviction
44. I want to meet Sir Cristopher Lee
45. I want me&my friends to have a CODEC that we can talk with
46. I want to make a big archeological discovery
47. I wish archeology was what it is in movies
48. I want to have a secret passage to my workshop
49. I'd want to play the violin
50. I want to have ridiculously huge collection of cool headgear
51. I wish I could have a drink with Hellboy (this is one I share with Adam Savage)
52. I want to have an underground section in my house
53. I want to go to Maker Faire one year and meet Adam Savage
54. I wish I could have at least one romantic dinner with the woman I love.
55. I want a CNC-mill
56. I want to have a duffel bag filled with weapons, ammo and tools in a secret compartment in the trunk of my car
57. I want one of those touch screen computer tables and to play a real-time strategy game with it
58. I want a Gravity gun from Half-life 2
59. I want to build a rocket launcher platform that shoots water pressure rockets
60. I want to have a time with Van when we'll marathon play all Metal Gear games
61. I want to be stranded with a bunch of friends to a cabin in the middle of nowhere for undisclosed period of time and play boardgames in candlelight
62. I want a 3D-printer
63. I want to go for an adventure
64. I want alot of spy gadgets
65. I'd like to be a woman for a month to know how it feels
66. I want to win an argument with my philosophy teacher
67. I want to have a tower in my house and have my office&bedroom on the top of it
68. I want to build a radio-controlled helicopter fitted with a camera
69. I want space where I can display my cosplay costumes and props
70. I want to keep a lecture about prop making in some con
71. I want to have a secret hideout in a public but hidden place (like in the sewers)
72. I want a carboard box that I can wear and hide under
73. I want to build a man-portable gauss rifle
74. I want to hear The Rhapsody of Fire live during my lifetime
75. I wish someone'd come to me asking to buy jewelry made by me
76. I want to perform a HALO jump
77. I want to travel to Prague one day
78. I want that Derringer-wrist rig from the 2008 Sherlock Holmes movie
79. I want a tower that is shaped like a birdcage to my house(as a garden)
80. I wish that I'd never have to cut grass
81. I want someone to make the clothes that I have designed
82. I want night vision goggles
83. I want a computer that runs The Witcher 2 on ultra
84. I want to survive an apocalypse
85. I want to build a Mad Max-themed car
86. I want boots that boost my jumps (so that I could jump around 2 meters up)
87. I want a HUD in my sunglasses
88. I want a Lancer assault rifle from Gears of War
89. I want a battlemech
90. I want to go hiking with my friends
91. I wish I could be friends with every people I admire
92. I wish I could understand and read all languaged in the world
93. I want a hoverboard
94. I want a bathroom that looks like ancient temple ruins
95. I want to meet&talk with Clint Eastwood
96. I wish that my life wouldn't be so boring
97. I want a pistol-sized flamethrower
98. I wish that things would turn well for me soon.
99. I want a Soliton radar
100. I want to re-live 12/6/2010


*phew* This took a while...

The little things.

It usually is a voice. The something in your head, that says "get down" or "stop". The thing that has saved my life more than a couple of times. People say that it's intuition. Others say it's luck. Some say it's god.


To me, it's accidence. The little moments in your life when you realize, that if you'd have taken one step forwards, or slowed down, you'd be a hell of a mess. That is no intuition. That is no luck. That is no god.

That is life, reminding you of how fragile a human being is, how little is enough to toss you over the fringe.
Wrong place. Wrong time.
Wrong person.