Reviev of the movie I am number four

Well, I went to the movies tonight and watched the movie I am number four. And man it was made of stupid.

Okay, I am totally going to spoil the movie here, so if you are pallning to watch it, read no further. On second thought, read further, you may save some money.

In the beginning, nothin is explained. Stuff just happens for no reason. Who are the guys who look like Voldemorts? What's the deal with the necklace? Why is the boy hunted? Why is there that blue glowing glob on the pommel of the knife? And know what, none of this is ever really explained. Except the Voldemorts, which seemingfully are Monrovians or something (this is the point where I bursted in laughter in the theater)
Ok, so the aliens are Mogarodians(Chuckle) Who, as said are bald aliens who hae sharpened teeth, wear kickass trenchcoats and have gills ON THEIR FACES. Wtf? How high does one need to be to invent something like this?

 Enough sporfling about the Monrovians, we zoom into the life of one John Smith(seriously? That's his name? John Smith? Like if writers just didn't invent a good name for their main character and called him John Smith. And it's even joked about in the movie! ) Well, John Smith is one of the survivors of an alien race that lived on the planet Lorien(Where are these guys from? Middle Earth?) but he is one of the nine "special descendants" who possess weird skills kalled "The Legacy" that makes their palms glow. Yyeah.
 So these nine are numbered from one to nine, and the Mongalords want to kill them(never explained why) in numerological order from one to nine(Again never explained why). Well, our main character John Smith is the number four(Like you couldn't guess that by now). Apparently the designer of these nine is a masochist, because when one of the nine dies, the other nine get a nice crop rings burned to their legs with a nice light effect (WHY?!??).  Legacy grants the user weird powers, as for John Smith gains force push (really, now that's original)

 If it is not clear by now, these aliens are badly developed. Why are they on Earth? What the hell is the purpose of these nine? How did they come to exist? TOO MANY QUESTIONS UNANSWERED!

Okay, John Smith and his childkeeper Henri move to a new town because the light effect was seen and taped by someone and was posted to youtube or something. They move to a new town, they fight a little, Smithy goes to school and just falls in love wth this girl who, for some reason, invites him to her home for dinner. After the dinner they move to the girl's room and JOHN JUST STARTS TO READ HER DIARY. Although she says that it's kinda private, she does nothing to stop him. and then he's openly an ass to the girl and then they fall in love. Well sorry to ruin your moment guys, but LOVE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.
After that Johnny screws around again which results in photos in the internet of him doing the alien thing which results Henri's wish that they move away from the town. Results in a fight where Henri says at first that it's just a  highschool crush and that he should forget it and after two minutes jsut says to him that their race falls in love only once (Well that made sense). And then they stay and stuff happens.

 The town also happens to be the residence of the son of a guy named Malcolm who tried to unite the nine, because they were more powerful together(What was the point to separate them in the first place?)
Yeah, clichés. This movie has them alot.

 And then there's the dog. Dog that was a lizard originally, but then turned to a dog and then suddenly was a fucking chimaira after being a dog for the whole movie. Convenient. Very. And then there are the Mogadishu people's hairless giant flying squirrels(oh yes, really.) This movie is very stupid.

I am not going to speak of the trial of romance in this movie, because it's identical to any other teenage love drama. But it's more stupid because it makes no sense.

And ou know the worst part of it? THEY ENDED IT OPENLY. I swear to god that if this shit is going to get a sequel, I'll watch Twilight again.

Bottomline: This movie was extremely stupid, do not go and watch it. Please. Don't go.