The little things.

It usually is a voice. The something in your head, that says "get down" or "stop". The thing that has saved my life more than a couple of times. People say that it's intuition. Others say it's luck. Some say it's god.


To me, it's accidence. The little moments in your life when you realize, that if you'd have taken one step forwards, or slowed down, you'd be a hell of a mess. That is no intuition. That is no luck. That is no god.

That is life, reminding you of how fragile a human being is, how little is enough to toss you over the fringe.
Wrong place. Wrong time.
Wrong person.

Now, at this day, I can finally see...

My last case opened in me a new fear...a real fear...a fear of myself, of what I am...and of what I have always been.
All that I was, is now lost. Hope? Purpose? Pleasure? All meaningless.

I now walk in the shadows between worlds...and it is there I have finally glimpsed upon what lives in the dark corners of the Earth...

What?
No, shut up.
SHUT UP!
I know! Just..
I KNOW! SILENCE! LET ME BE!
No! It's not like that it's...
NO!
I Know I do!
I FUCKING KNOW
I know I can't too, I do, no need to repeat it-Shut up!
COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE NOW?!
OUT!
I know.
I know!
I KNOW!

WOULD YOU KINDLY LEAVE MY HEAD, LOVE I KNOW I CAN'T GET HER BACK.

Bakacon's gone

...four days ago actually. Just haven't got the strenght nor the will to write anything up before this. Been _very_ tired after the weekend. But still, I'd want to go back...

Enough mourning. Props are in terrible shape, been fixing them and my bag is still packed.
The next day I got home, I finished editing the vlogs I promised in FB, and now they're all uploaded on my Youtube channel ( http://www.youtube.com/user/Legion101st?feature=mhee ).
Please do forgive the crappy angles, I didn't have a stand or a tripod of any kind with me.

Well, this(the last regular week of school) week's been painful. I've been constantly tired. As the contrip somewhat recharged my mental battery, it depleted my physical battery. The first time I feel like I'm going to need the oncoming holiday.

Animecon's coming, five weeks to go and I haven't got any of the cosplay's even started and

I think that's enough.

I feel like the only one of my friends who updates regularly...

SO.
Bakacon next weekend. Little thrilled, since my cos is about half way through. BUT I'LL FUCKING DO IT.

Nothing much happening. Life being, as usual, boring. Springs seems like the time when nothing ever happens to anyone. Goddamnit, it's already May! It'll be summer soon! And even brighter and hotter! Fuck!

..And with summer ends the first year of highschool. It has been, surprisingly, quite enjoyable. At first I thought that studying would be as pain in the ass as it was back in junior high, but when comparing to junior high.....Man that was PAIN.

Enough ranting. Bottomline: Bored with a hint of stress and deadlines.

So, some of you must wonder how I spent the May Day?

...Like I have followers who'd truly be interested.
Most of the time I was home, and made the cos for Bakacon, which I should do more, because I have a deadline of 12 days from today.
 On sunday(that is[was] today) I went to the town with a handful of friends, all clad in organization XIII coats. Curiously enough, everyone who ever questioned us of what we were doing thought that we were PR'ing some political party O___o. And an old man questioned me why the youth nowadays wear hoods. Couldn't find other reasonable answer than "Trial to look good" with such short notice.

 Well, that was my May Day. Sounds boring? At least I wasn't drunk and wondering that did that one guy rape me or not, so fuck you. FYI, I had a blast. So does that make me boring? No, my life just is, and you need a hell of a lot more than just one holiday to impress me, so save your moralities.

Another thing, no, I am not angry.