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Okay, so I watched Avengers. And I obviously LIKED IT. I seriously walked to the theater wit the mindset "OK superhero movies haven't sucked massively lately, and because the power of Joss Whedon, It might be good". I also didn't planon going to the premiere, but a friend invited me to fill an empty seat(I paid for it though). BUT BOY WAS IT LIKE, THE BEST MOVIE LATELY EVER. Even thogugh it contained characters I disliked from other superhero movies, like Captain America(might watch one day) and Thor(Never will see). They were also made interesting, which was a pleasant surprise.
Right now, I'd ask you to sit back, take a comfortable position, something to drink, and maybe something to eat, and spoilers will follow. So, If you haven't watched the movie yet, GO ALREADY, then come back, and read on.
The movie's beginning let me know of itself only when the subtitles hit the screen, which wasn't neccessarily a bad thing. There was no text in the beginning whatsoever, nothing to tell where we were or so on. Actually, the beginning must've been the weakest part of the movie, as it states only that Loki is a bad guy, and Fury can't fight him alone, thus he called code seven and declared war. And that Hill exist only to get shot/car crashed/hit/violenced. Acting work was also pretty bad, mostly extras, Fury&Loki, so it's not so big surprise. Also I loved the car symbolism in the beginning sequence's car chase. Bad guys were driving a Hummer H3(not Humvee), and the good guys were operating either some regular civil car or a Jeep, because Hummer=Bad. Also the H3 was the only Hummer of the cars, the rest were just plain military HMMWV. Also was the only black Hummer. Symbolism declared. After these happenings the beginning screen hits you in the face with the subtlety of a piano dropped off a cliff. That's none whatsoever if someone didn't catch it.
Also, Fury seems to just be so badass that he's bulletproof. Him taking hits continuously is never explained in the flick. Also his clothing is too tight-fitting to conceal any modern bulletproof vests, but I settle for him being badass enough just to not die whe he oughta.
Following sequence took the better part of the first hour of the movie, where they quickly introduced the cast for the watchers not familiar with the Avengers beforehand, which was conceived surprisingly well, with obvious Whedonian humour elements with certain members of the cast *COUGH*Stark, Captain*COUGH* Also brings me to wonder, is every single superhero in the 'verses taught to fight with stool legs? Which is awesome in it's own right, of course.
Introduction was followed with the capture of Loki and Loki's forces' assault on the Mothership Helicarrier(Which I will return to later, otherwise I'll be disoriented), which took the shorter part of the first hour of the movie, during which was also the obligatory fight between the Avengers, which was PORN. I mean it, concentrated awesomeness. Also introduced was a plot item I am genuinely proud that was not used in the end. It was a delicious plot device indeed. But when Jarvis' sweet machiney voice stated "Core output 400%" and Tony answered "How about that." I came in about sixteen different ways, only at that one scenes. Basically whenever Tony was on scree, I came multple times. I still wonder how my pants are in relatively one piece. Cap's(and Tony's) WWII nazi reference was a good one too, although worn. AND FURY DOESN'T TELL ANYTHING TO ANYONE.
Also a matter that I'm proud Whedon managed, was that everyone in the cast got their moment to shine, even side characters like Coulson( I KNOW, IT'S SAD. BOTH HIS DEATH AND THE FACT THAT HE IS, INDEED, A SIDE CHARACTER. OH YEAH THIS WAS ALSO A SPOILER).
I'm beginning with an also again, to tell that jokes are tossed ALL THE TIME even by the "serious" characters, like Fury. Completely aside are the (homo)sexual tensions that most of the time aren't visible to untrained personnel, but other times just whacks you in the face, just to make clear it's still there. And nothing wrong with homosexuality and/or homosexual tensions.
The ending half was basically just the Big End Battle, with nothing wrong with it. It just worked, and everyone again had their places which they, again, performed well. Only thing bugging me was Thor's comment about the alien army, when he said "They are Critaurs(?), no-one knows anything about them". How did he know they exist then?
End resolution of the Nuke being tossed in the giant glowing anus in the sky by Tony was obvious, but working ending. The happening was tragic and romantic too, when Tony(Jarvis) tried to call Pepper, but didn't get through, showing that Tony, afterall, actually, has a heart. If he'd had died at that moment, I would have been happy with it. It was so well composed, and told so much of his character, that I would have let it pass. But luckily it didn't, and my(And obviosly the director's, too) favourite character is still alive. Speaking of which, Tony/Iron Man had unbelievably much screentime, In my theory because he's awesome, he's awesome, and also because he's awesome, without forgetting that he's awesome. And, oh so handsome too. (Bet you didn't see that coming).
ALSO MKVII IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITITWANTIT SO COOL AND SO MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN THE MKVI EXTREMIS I WANT IT.
ALSO THERE WAS TECHPORN. THERE WAS TECHPORN EVERYWHERE.
And here I'll return to the curious case of Mothership, which was the awesomest and obscurest vehicle in the world. I knew it was amphibious beforehand, so that didn't surprise me that much actually, but OH SO BEAUTIFUL BE MINE. It was fragile though. I'd think it'd be designed so, that it'd be able to hover with 50%thrust, but it seems to almost topple over at the temporare loss of one, which is kinda stupid. But plotpoint, Tony needed something to do, something to be cool with, and instate that Cap is an idiot regarding science. Second thing tht bugged me was the overlapping twin flight decks. Only one of them would be capable of landing an aircraft, and most of the vehicles(WHICH WERE PRETTY TOO) were V/STOL capable. Which reminds me of Hulk smashing a Harrier, which made me creak in horror, pain, and tears. It was a sad moment. ALSO FURY FIRING AN RPG AT A PLANE CARRYING A NUKE. BAD FUCKING ASS.
Ok, before my fingers either melt or merge with my keyboard, I'll wrap up with Pro's and Con's.
Pro's:
-Avengers' interaction with eachother. Pure comedic gold.
-TECHPOORN. TECHPORN EVERYWHERE.
-Wonderful acting performances
-Joss Whedon(What?)
-Cool baddies
-Ludicruos jokes EVERYWHERE
Con's:
-Weak opening
-Few science/physics facts
-Hill's unneccessariness
If at this point it isn't clear, I LIKED/LOVED IT GO WATCH IT NOW IF YOU DISREGARDED MY EARLIER NOTE. Definitely going to buy the DVD when it comes out for rewatch&extras.
What? A positive review from me? MADNESS? SPARTA?! No, a great movie. Yes, they do exist.
And they are out there.
Waiting...
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